Kieran Boland

It is the technical problems, not a lack of potential consumer demand, that stop us from having cans of tropical sunset, tubes of warm Pacific breezes, and packets of 'easy-mix' sexual pleasure. We are able to reproduce almost anything audible or visible; already someone has invented a jukebox for smells; and only Aldous Huxley's 'feelies' still seem completely out of our reach. – John FOWLES, The Aristos 1964

Once upon a time, before the art of television was perfected, a broadcast was occasionally interrupted by technical difficulties. As a substitute, the television would provide us with a mute, sometimes comic image of its own embarrassment:

INSTRUCTIONS in case transmission light for regular program goes off. DONT WORRY Play any old shit from the tape pile under the desk. Try not to repeat anything. While changing tapes, hold the BOTTOM HALF ONLY of this page in front of the camera. DONT WORRY It will look better on screen. Keep playing the tapes until you get the call from Eddie. DO NOT CALL HIM (He'll call you). It shouldn't take long. Cheers. PS: Bottom half of page is below this line:

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